As the sect leader for Jin Guangyao, I offer these gifts for your permission to take his hand as my spouse.
[Opening the box he pulls out several small boxes. Each contains an ointment of a different scent but all perfumed nicely. Next is a dagger of deadly but elegant design. And the final item is carefully folded golden silk. Not typical gifts for a Dominant to give to a Submissive. However, he isn't here for the roles given to them by this place.]
[ At those words and the gifts that are steadily brought to light, something in Jin Ling's expression goes blank.
Was this really real? Was this his true life? Accepting a marriage proposal on behalf of one of the uncles who'd raised him? After six months, this was what he was being called on to use the authority of Sect Leader for? The first marriage he'd oversee as the head of his clan was xiao shushu's? Of all people?
Jin Ling closes his eyes so hard his whole face crumbles inward like a dried apple.
Why must he go through this. Why.
He breathes deep, reining in his feelings. It's not that Nie Mingjue hadn't boldly stated his intentions with shushu before. It's not that he'd thought it was a jest or that the man was going to change his mind at the last minute. He'd just... quietly hoped it would never come up again and he wouldn't have to think about it. Ever.
It takes two more steadying breaths, but he manages to smooth out his expression without giving in to the urge to shout. When he speaks, it's mostly steady. ]
So you have decided who's marrying into which clan?
[ It's a redundant question, given the rules of this place, shushu's lost status relative to Nie Mingjue, and that Chifeng-zun is on his doorstep with a bride price in the first place, but he has reason to ask. ]
[One can practically see the wheels turning in the young man's head. Of course, Mingjue can hardly fault him for that. With all he's been through to suddenly be in this position? He likely never expected to have this be a situation he'd encounter.
Then again given the status of their various lives, well, it wouldn't have been something he'd be prepared for.
Still, Mingjue doesn't hold back and he simply answers the question. Bluntly. Honestly.]
We are not marrying for our clans. This will be a union of men rather than bloodline.
[Far from traditional. Far from anything he's known. Far from the way he was raised. Once upon a time he knows he would have rebelled against this tooth and nail.
In this moment, it feels...right.
And that's why he adds just as boldly...]
I come here to be polite. I will marry him regardless. But a blessing will make him happy.
[ That throws him off yet again. This was not following any script he knew or was prepared for. ]
You -- !
[ He cuts himself off and huffs. What was the point of making it a marriage if they weren't tying their fortunes and families together? Even Wei Wuxian went to Lan Wangji's clan in the end, like a proper spouse.
Maybe it was because of this place. Because they were all so cut off from their true places in the world that heritage and clan ties were next to meaningless. Or maybe because Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao had died and could afford to disregard such concerns. What even awaited them outside of this city? Not their former lives, that was for sure.
With that in mind, what did it matter if they chose to share their lives in marriage without all the negotiations and political maneuvering?
Thinking this, he experiences an unexpected emotion; envy.
He banishes it with another aggrieved huff, and scrapes his dignity back together to get to the heart of the matter. ]
If you're going to do it regardless, then I suppose there's no point in me protesting. You are the one who's come so far as to want to call little uncle 'husband' after everything else. What could I say to break things up?
But Chifeng-zun, will have to answer me this. When I first arrived here, I heard that little uncle had been taken into the care of the Nie clan. He did not wear the Jin Sect colors or the vermillion mark. I heard also that the Nie Sect Leader made it his business to see little uncle held accountable for his past actions.
[ He cuts a sidewise glance at Nie Mingjue. There's something complicated in it that isn't quite masked by Jin Ling's haughty expression.]
Is this something Chifeng-zun intends to continue?
[The Jin leader is still young but it's clear he's trying. Mingjue is honestly impressed as he lets him work things out. More impressed by the question he's then asked.
And so, he's honest with him. Partially because that's his nature and partially because he feels the young man has more than earned that from him.]
What Huaisang did was personal and not something I acknowledge as being an action of the the Nie clan. When his contract with Huaisang ended I put stipulations into our contract to ensure that Meng Yao would always have the freedom to be who he wished to be. It is my decision that he has been punished enough and it is time for all of us to heal.
Meng Yao...Jin Guangyao...is a member of the noble Lanling Jin Sect. If it is what you will allow then he should wear the vermillion mark always and wear the colors of your sect in order to honor your clan. He is not Nie though I will use my clan to protect and care for him if you will permit it to do so.
[And then he cups his hands before him and bows to Jin Ling.]
Jin Ling. I humbly ask for your permission to marry your uncle. He will be cared for and given the chance to have the redemption that was stolen from him by Nie Huaisang. He will be loved and he will be cherished which was stolen from him by Jin Guangshan. He will finally be allowed to live in happiness and that will be my goal in life as Nie Mingjue.
[With that, he falls silent, holding the bow and keeping his head lowered.]
[ In many ways, these words were exactly what Jin Ling wanted to hear about this uncle he loved and resented to ever-shifting degrees. He wanted to look forward to a future where he could go back to feeling only one way about Jin Guangyao, where he could once again accept affection and advice and familiar smiles without doubt or suspicion. He didn't want to see his uncle suffering or miserable or with any justification to take matters into his own, harmful hands.
And under that want was the bone-deep conviction that this future simply couldn't exist. Not only because of Jin Guangyao, but because of himself. He couldn't go back to the version of himself that didn't know how far Jin Guangyao had been willing to go against his own sworn brethren; against his own flesh and blood. That him was gone forever and the person in his place listened to Nie Mingjue say the words he so badly wanted to hear and thought "But what if he's lying -- what if it's fake -- what if we're all fools for trusting --"
His jaw worked as he fought with himself for a long moment.
None of these thoughts were for Nie Mingjue to know. The man had come here wanting and willing to put himself in the path of Jin Guangyao's sword, and whether that sword was truly there or not was beside the point. Of all of them, he had the most experience with why he shouldn't, so if he chose to...
When he looked back, Nie Mingjue was still bent in a bow. Jin Ling blew out a long breath and reached out to grip and lift his arms. ]
Stop, enough. You truly believed he can be redeemed? That he wants to be redeemed?
[He doesn't know every detail but he knows enough to understand why this young man would feel this way. Act this way. Mingjue understands better than others probably think he does.
It's why his answer is this:]
I truly believe that if he wants to be redeemed then he can be. And that if he cannot then I will handle the matter as his sworn brother.
[And then likely have to end himself and Xichen as well. There's no way they can go on now beyond being a trio. But that? That he doesn't say. This is a private resolve which he plans to keep to himself as he hopes he'll never have to go to such an extreme.
And no. It doesn't matter to him that one cannot stay dead here. He'll find a way if it means finding peace for the three of them and everyone else. That is what is right.
Finally, he lowers his hands. Tempting though it is to comment on the eye rolling he knows who this young man's uncle is.]
Thank you. I am speaking for them in this but we appreciate your support.
[ He looks into Nie Mingjue's eyes, trying to gauge the depth of his conviction. He barely knows Nie Mingjue outside of stories of a noble and indomitable war hero; stories, he was learning, that couldn't always be taken on faith. But in this, at least, the man seems as sure and steady as a mountain. A knot in Jin Ling's chest loosens. ]
In that case, he'll be your responsibility.
[ With all the formality of a decree.
Jin Ling withdraws his own hands and busies himself with refreshing their teacups. ]
Hmph. I'll be sure to pass on my congratulations to little uncle and Zewu-jun, in any case. [ Him, avoid acknowledging a 'thank you'? Never.
He twists his cup around before picking it up. ]
Zewu-jun deserves to be looked after, too. It hasn't been easy for him.
[Mingjue nods then. They've settled into their agreement now and that is good enough for him. Taking his tea, he has a sip before looking to the young man again.]
Your attitude is so much like Jiang Cheng.
[Comment made, he has another sip of tea.]
Xichen will be within my care too. And I will ensure I have his brother's blessing for that.
[ Jin Ling lowers the cup without drinking from it. ]
What about it? Jiujiu is an accomplished Sect Leader and a powerful Cultivator.
[ He gives Nie Mingjue an assessing glance, checking for any scorn or judgment. Jin Ling would openly criticize Jiang Cheng right to his face - as long as he had a quick escape route - but he wasn't going to give anyone else the space to do it. ]
Hanguang-jun is strict.
[ He seems about to elaborate on that, only to drink his tea instead. ]
I did not mention if that was a negative aspect. I have told him in the past I enjoy that side of him. You should not be so quick to assume the worst.
[Mingjue lifts a brow at him to let Jin Ling know that he maybe needs to chill a bit. But also that he's approving of him rushing to defend his uncle so readily. That's a good trait. He should keep that.]
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no subject
[Opening the box he pulls out several small boxes. Each contains an ointment of a different scent but all perfumed nicely. Next is a dagger of deadly but elegant design. And the final item is carefully folded golden silk. Not typical gifts for a Dominant to give to a Submissive. However, he isn't here for the roles given to them by this place.]
no subject
Was this really real? Was this his true life? Accepting a marriage proposal on behalf of one of the uncles who'd raised him? After six months, this was what he was being called on to use the authority of Sect Leader for? The first marriage he'd oversee as the head of his clan was xiao shushu's? Of all people?
Jin Ling closes his eyes so hard his whole face crumbles inward like a dried apple.
Why must he go through this. Why.
He breathes deep, reining in his feelings. It's not that Nie Mingjue hadn't boldly stated his intentions with shushu before. It's not that he'd thought it was a jest or that the man was going to change his mind at the last minute. He'd just... quietly hoped it would never come up again and he wouldn't have to think about it. Ever.
It takes two more steadying breaths, but he manages to smooth out his expression without giving in to the urge to shout. When he speaks, it's mostly steady. ]
So you have decided who's marrying into which clan?
[ It's a redundant question, given the rules of this place, shushu's lost status relative to Nie Mingjue, and that Chifeng-zun is on his doorstep with a bride price in the first place, but he has reason to ask. ]
no subject
Then again given the status of their various lives, well, it wouldn't have been something he'd be prepared for.
Still, Mingjue doesn't hold back and he simply answers the question. Bluntly. Honestly.]
We are not marrying for our clans. This will be a union of men rather than bloodline.
[Far from traditional. Far from anything he's known. Far from the way he was raised. Once upon a time he knows he would have rebelled against this tooth and nail.
In this moment, it feels...right.
And that's why he adds just as boldly...]
I come here to be polite. I will marry him regardless. But a blessing will make him happy.
no subject
You -- !
[ He cuts himself off and huffs. What was the point of making it a marriage if they weren't tying their fortunes and families together? Even Wei Wuxian went to Lan Wangji's clan in the end, like a proper spouse.
Maybe it was because of this place. Because they were all so cut off from their true places in the world that heritage and clan ties were next to meaningless. Or maybe because Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao had died and could afford to disregard such concerns. What even awaited them outside of this city? Not their former lives, that was for sure.
With that in mind, what did it matter if they chose to share their lives in marriage without all the negotiations and political maneuvering?
Thinking this, he experiences an unexpected emotion; envy.
He banishes it with another aggrieved huff, and scrapes his dignity back together to get to the heart of the matter. ]
If you're going to do it regardless, then I suppose there's no point in me protesting. You are the one who's come so far as to want to call little uncle 'husband' after everything else. What could I say to break things up?
But Chifeng-zun, will have to answer me this. When I first arrived here, I heard that little uncle had been taken into the care of the Nie clan. He did not wear the Jin Sect colors or the vermillion mark. I heard also that the Nie Sect Leader made it his business to see little uncle held accountable for his past actions.
[ He cuts a sidewise glance at Nie Mingjue. There's something complicated in it that isn't quite masked by Jin Ling's haughty expression.]
Is this something Chifeng-zun intends to continue?
no subject
And so, he's honest with him. Partially because that's his nature and partially because he feels the young man has more than earned that from him.]
What Huaisang did was personal and not something I acknowledge as being an action of the the Nie clan. When his contract with Huaisang ended I put stipulations into our contract to ensure that Meng Yao would always have the freedom to be who he wished to be. It is my decision that he has been punished enough and it is time for all of us to heal.
Meng Yao...Jin Guangyao...is a member of the noble Lanling Jin Sect. If it is what you will allow then he should wear the vermillion mark always and wear the colors of your sect in order to honor your clan. He is not Nie though I will use my clan to protect and care for him if you will permit it to do so.
[And then he cups his hands before him and bows to Jin Ling.]
Jin Ling. I humbly ask for your permission to marry your uncle. He will be cared for and given the chance to have the redemption that was stolen from him by Nie Huaisang. He will be loved and he will be cherished which was stolen from him by Jin Guangshan. He will finally be allowed to live in happiness and that will be my goal in life as Nie Mingjue.
[With that, he falls silent, holding the bow and keeping his head lowered.]
no subject
And under that want was the bone-deep conviction that this future simply couldn't exist. Not only because of Jin Guangyao, but because of himself. He couldn't go back to the version of himself that didn't know how far Jin Guangyao had been willing to go against his own sworn brethren; against his own flesh and blood. That him was gone forever and the person in his place listened to Nie Mingjue say the words he so badly wanted to hear and thought "But what if he's lying -- what if it's fake -- what if we're all fools for trusting --"
His jaw worked as he fought with himself for a long moment.
None of these thoughts were for Nie Mingjue to know. The man had come here wanting and willing to put himself in the path of Jin Guangyao's sword, and whether that sword was truly there or not was beside the point. Of all of them, he had the most experience with why he shouldn't, so if he chose to...
When he looked back, Nie Mingjue was still bent in a bow. Jin Ling blew out a long breath and reached out to grip and lift his arms. ]
Stop, enough. You truly believed he can be redeemed? That he wants to be redeemed?
Then you have my permission. I support you.
[ He paused, rolled his eyes. ]
All three of you.
no subject
It's why his answer is this:]
I truly believe that if he wants to be redeemed then he can be. And that if he cannot then I will handle the matter as his sworn brother.
[And then likely have to end himself and Xichen as well. There's no way they can go on now beyond being a trio. But that? That he doesn't say. This is a private resolve which he plans to keep to himself as he hopes he'll never have to go to such an extreme.
And no. It doesn't matter to him that one cannot stay dead here. He'll find a way if it means finding peace for the three of them and everyone else. That is what is right.
Finally, he lowers his hands. Tempting though it is to comment on the eye rolling he knows who this young man's uncle is.]
Thank you. I am speaking for them in this but we appreciate your support.
no subject
In that case, he'll be your responsibility.
[ With all the formality of a decree.
Jin Ling withdraws his own hands and busies himself with refreshing their teacups. ]
Hmph. I'll be sure to pass on my congratulations to little uncle and Zewu-jun, in any case. [ Him, avoid acknowledging a 'thank you'? Never.
He twists his cup around before picking it up. ]
Zewu-jun deserves to be looked after, too. It hasn't been easy for him.
no subject
Your attitude is so much like Jiang Cheng.
[Comment made, he has another sip of tea.]
Xichen will be within my care too. And I will ensure I have his brother's blessing for that.
no subject
What about it? Jiujiu is an accomplished Sect Leader and a powerful Cultivator.
[ He gives Nie Mingjue an assessing glance, checking for any scorn or judgment. Jin Ling would openly criticize Jiang Cheng right to his face - as long as he had a quick escape route - but he wasn't going to give anyone else the space to do it. ]
Hanguang-jun is strict.
[ He seems about to elaborate on that, only to drink his tea instead. ]
no subject
[Mingjue lifts a brow at him to let Jin Ling know that he maybe needs to chill a bit. But also that he's approving of him rushing to defend his uncle so readily. That's a good trait. He should keep that.]
Wangji is a Lan. Though why do you say so?
[Enlighten him.]