[ In many ways, these words were exactly what Jin Ling wanted to hear about this uncle he loved and resented to ever-shifting degrees. He wanted to look forward to a future where he could go back to feeling only one way about Jin Guangyao, where he could once again accept affection and advice and familiar smiles without doubt or suspicion. He didn't want to see his uncle suffering or miserable or with any justification to take matters into his own, harmful hands.
And under that want was the bone-deep conviction that this future simply couldn't exist. Not only because of Jin Guangyao, but because of himself. He couldn't go back to the version of himself that didn't know how far Jin Guangyao had been willing to go against his own sworn brethren; against his own flesh and blood. That him was gone forever and the person in his place listened to Nie Mingjue say the words he so badly wanted to hear and thought "But what if he's lying -- what if it's fake -- what if we're all fools for trusting --"
His jaw worked as he fought with himself for a long moment.
None of these thoughts were for Nie Mingjue to know. The man had come here wanting and willing to put himself in the path of Jin Guangyao's sword, and whether that sword was truly there or not was beside the point. Of all of them, he had the most experience with why he shouldn't, so if he chose to...
When he looked back, Nie Mingjue was still bent in a bow. Jin Ling blew out a long breath and reached out to grip and lift his arms. ]
Stop, enough. You truly believed he can be redeemed? That he wants to be redeemed?
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And under that want was the bone-deep conviction that this future simply couldn't exist. Not only because of Jin Guangyao, but because of himself. He couldn't go back to the version of himself that didn't know how far Jin Guangyao had been willing to go against his own sworn brethren; against his own flesh and blood. That him was gone forever and the person in his place listened to Nie Mingjue say the words he so badly wanted to hear and thought "But what if he's lying -- what if it's fake -- what if we're all fools for trusting --"
His jaw worked as he fought with himself for a long moment.
None of these thoughts were for Nie Mingjue to know. The man had come here wanting and willing to put himself in the path of Jin Guangyao's sword, and whether that sword was truly there or not was beside the point. Of all of them, he had the most experience with why he shouldn't, so if he chose to...
When he looked back, Nie Mingjue was still bent in a bow. Jin Ling blew out a long breath and reached out to grip and lift his arms. ]
Stop, enough. You truly believed he can be redeemed? That he wants to be redeemed?
Then you have my permission. I support you.
[ He paused, rolled his eyes. ]
All three of you.